Colin Cowherd is a Twit

I am a satellite radio subscriber. I like it for all the music, but mostly I like the sports talk radio channels so I can feed my obsessive need for sports while I’m driving to and from work. Between the ESPN and FoxSports channels, I can usually catch some interesting information about the NFL, NHL or college football. If they’re talking about baseball or basketball, I just change the channel.

Unfortunately, there are also some radio personalities that I avoid because their demeanor, analysis or general presentation just doesn’t work for me. That’s fine, I don’t have anything against them, it’s just not my style so I choose to listen elsewhere.

Today, I heard something different. While flipping to ESPN radio, I caught “The Herd” with Colin Cowherd. I’m not usually a big fan of his show, but thought I’d give it a few minutes. Just as I tuned in, he was making comments about how all Canadians do is “drink Molson, watch hockey, and go to Tim Horton’s”. He followed that up with comments about listening to Celine Dion and stating “I love Canada, maybe I’ll buy it one day”.

Colin, you’re an idiot. For starters, I’m in Calgary, which is part of Canada since you’re obviously a little geographically insensitive, and I’m listening to your show. That means you just took a shot at some of your own listeners.

I have no problem with drinking Molson’s and Tim Hortons while watching hockey. I’m just pissed that you forgot to mention Big Rock and Rickard’s, two of our other fine brews. They’re all better than that watered-down swill you sell down there. You also forgot to mention that we are wearing toques while watching the game in our igloos and huddling up with our sled dogs for warmth. As for hockey, we watch a lot, we play a lot and that’s why we’re the best in the world. Please explain to me the downside of dominating the sport we love.

I’m deeply offended by the Celine Dion comment, since we shipped her off to Vegas a few years ago and weren’t expecting her to be returned. You guys wanted her, now keep her.

As for the comment about buying Canada, this is where I get irritated. Apparently you haven’t figured out that Canada is a larger land mass than the United States, so it’s not like you’re offering to buy some small island. I’m assuming that if you’re offering to buy us that you’re planning on financing this purchase with that brilliant sub-prime mortgage scheme all your banks dreamed up. Let me know how that’s panning out for you.

While there are many Americans who take shots at Canada and use xenophobic stereotypes to describe us, they give the rest of our southern neighbors a bad name. I have American friends and co-workers and none of them act in the ignorant fashion that you do.

Apparently I’m not the only person taking offense to your comments since a quick search turned up all kinds of blogs and clips of you taking shots at writers like Bill Simmons, telling some fan to put an ice pick in their eye and criticizing Sean Taylor’s death due to his “gang-related past” despite the fact it was a botched robbery. At least I know you’re not just rude to Canadians, but a well-rounded moron who manages to offend all kinds of people.